


fear not

by monsimkkung



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Crack, Humor, M/M, Texting, and some occasional FRIENDS references, irresponsible friends, kihyun is jealous, minhyuk is always planning something, there's also a lot of food
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 10:07:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13679535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monsimkkung/pseuds/monsimkkung
Summary: If you think that barking dogs can smell fear is bad, think again.Friends who know what you fear are worse.





	fear not

**Author's Note:**

> me during the holiday season with relatives everywhere: writing to avoid social interactions
> 
> this is a mess

**Won.H**

sup losers

 

**daniel**

sup hyung

 

**Won.H**

wow u own up to the name fast

 

**daniel**

well I've gladly accepted who I am

I'm a happy loser

 

**Shyunu**

can we please don't encourage self-depreciation

 

**hyungw.**

just let the kid be himself

and what did the resident hottie have to say

 

**sharKi**

keep ur pet names away from public tyvm

　　

**Won.H**

you're just jealous because you have to spend Valentine's Day alone

 

**sharKi**

I'm not jealous

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

you so are though

but enough on kihyun's sad singleness

what's the word

 

**Won.H**

so

you guys remember the weird landlord that scared jooheon shitless

 

**daniel**

the one that's just like Mr. Heckles in Friends?

definitely

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

he said he had recurring nightmares about that afternoon

what about it

 

**Won.H**

i just found out he's my neighbor's landlord too

saw him collecting rent today

 

**sharKi**

was he still wearing the robe

 

**Won.H**

surprisingly

he was

or maybe it's unsurprisingly idk that robe could be part of his actual skin and no one would know

jooheon has a point

 

**daniel**

lmao jooheon hyung will freak out once he finds out

great

 

**hyungw.**

are you genuinely happy about it

 

**daniel**

of course

I'd be prepared to record his face

will be a feast

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

you have issues

but I'm in

I'll help you plan

 

**Shyunu**

I wasn't aware there was anything to plan for

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

hyunwoo my man. you're too kind and naive for the world

this is operation scare-jooheon-shitless-again now

 

**hyungw.**

what

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

I'll explain later brb sweetheart

 

**hyungw.**

he's up to sth stupid

 

**sharKi**

of course

whatever he says later

just remember: never trust Lee Minhyuk

 

**cucumber hyung**

my fellow criminal

we've now a task

 

**little devil**

operation harvest-more-jooheon-memes

 

**cucumber hyung**

exactly, my genius accomplice

now

I'm thinking throwing a party at hoseok hyung's place

invite everyone

and bump into the landlord

then we catch everything on film

 

**little devil**

yes

what do we need

 

**cucumber hyung**

first of all a party of course

so

party hats, drinks, snacks, guests

and cups

 

**little devil**

lots of cups

 

**cucumber hyung**

can i trust you with cups my dear evil mate

 

**little devil**

on it

I can also take care of the snacks

 

**cucumber hyung**

this is why i like you best

initiative will get you far in this field

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

im back

miss me yet wonbaby

 

**sharKi**

if i see one more pet name i swear.

 

**Won.H**

Kihyun you need to do something about ur jealousy management issues

 

**sharKi**

no I fucking don't

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

kihyun

my love

you do

 

**sharKi**

calling me names does not help the case

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

there's no cure for your loneliness anyway

moving on

changkyun and I have devised a plan

 

**Shyunu**

I still don't know what there is to plan

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

fret not my innocent friend I'll explain

we're going to throw a party at hoseok hyung's place

 

**Won.H**

we are?

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

yes and it will be awesome

first we invite everyone there

we will have the cameras and phones at the ready

and when the landlord shows up jooheon can perform turning pale while shaking

 

**hyungw.**

wtf

 

**sharKi**

Is this what you've been calling a plan

did you even plan

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

hey this can work

 

**Shyunu**

but this... doesn't work?

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

not u too my trustworthy Hercules

（ｉДｉ）

 

**sharKi**

minhyuk remember ur restraining order from emojis

and this is the most flawed plan ever.

 

**Won.H**

you know jooheon can see everything later right

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

i know

that's why we had to be fast

Changkyun is taking care of things as we speak

 

**hyungw.**

knew the child's been quiet for too long

 

**daniel**

awww hyung did you miss me

 

**sharKi**

changkyun you need to keep away from minhyuk

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

ur just jealous that I love changkyun more

and how's everything my lovely partner in crime

 

**daniel**

done and done

✔

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

I'm proud of you dear

I've raised you well

 

**sharKi**

no u fucking did not

 

**Shyunu**

just out of curiosity

in what way do you plan to get that landlord there

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

invite him?

did I not say invite everyone

 

**hyungw.**

yeah but how do we invite the landlord

no one knows him

 

**Won.H**

before you ask, minhyuk

I don't either

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

oh

um

ok that could be a problem

 

**sharKi**

you think?

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

there's no way you can contact him hoseok hyung?

 

**Won.H**

no

I don't even know my neighbor

 

**Shyunu**

so what now

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

much as it pains me to say this

we might have to call off this op

 

**sharKi**

there's no 'we'

 

**daniel**

but hyung

I've already ordered ten boxes of chicken nuggets

and four buckets of chocolate popcorn

 

**Shyunu**

that's okay I can finish those

 

**daniel**

and four pizzas

three batches of cinnamon rolls

one cheese cake

 

**hyungw.**

oh god

is the list going to end

 

**daniel**

well minhyuk hyung did say to invite everyone

oh and three packs of paper cups

 

**sharKi**

how many are in one pack

 

**daniel**

100

 

**hyungw.**

that's three hundred paper cups in total

 

**sharKi**

omg.

why.

 

**daniel**

it was on sale

 

**Won.H**

yet of all things, u didn't get ramen

 

**sharKi**

shut up about ramen

there's already too much food

 

**Shyunu**

I'm still up for eating them

 

**Won.H**

so am I

 

**jheony**

why is there a weirdly long list of food

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

oh hi sugarplum

class ended?

 

**jheony**

yeah

what's up

 

**sharKi**

scroll up for a surprise

 

**jheony**

oh

oh no

oh no no no I'm not going to walk right back into my nightmare again

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

you mean to the man of your dreams

 

**jheony**

NO

NIGHTMARE.

I'M NEVER

NEVER.

NEVER GOING TO HOSEOK HYUNG'S PLACE ANYMORE

 

**daniel**

i wish i could record him right now

 

**hyungw.**

u have no conscience.

but same

 

**sharKi**

well but fuck there's still the shit ton of food we need to deal with

 

**Won.H**

we could still have that party I guess

just without the landlord dude

 

**jheony**

it HAS to be without him

I WILL cry

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

we know

that was our goal joodarling

 

**sharKi**

wtf did i say about pet names.

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

oops

please forgive me my love

 

**hyungw.**

if you guys want to we can use my place

 

**Won.H**

u sure

we don't want to bother you or anything

 

**hyungw.**

it's not like u guys aren't hanging around here every day anyway

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

tru

then we move the party to our Prince Wonnie's esteemed palace

 

**sharKi**

call people weird names again and i will slit ur throat

 

**MINPUP(*ﾟ∀ﾟ)**

aww my love

need me to sign u up for jealousy management classes?

 

**sharKi**

fuck u

 

**jheony**

thank you hyungwon hyung

you have saved my cursed soul from torment

 

**daniel**

so um

I'll need help bringing the food over

 

**Shyunu**

yeah i can do that

 

**daniel**

thanks hyung

 

**hyungw.**

wait and see when they arrive with already half eaten food

 

**jheony**

as long as they don't show up with the creepy landlord

i'll take any leftovers with gratitude

 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on: [twitter](https://twitter.com/monsimkkung/) | [tumblr](https://monsimkkung.tumblr.com/)


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